Sri Lanka - Arugam Bay

Dear Moll diary,

As mr Bodyboard and I sat at the aptly named 'Riptide' restaurant ( Non molls - Riptide is a magazine, Cosmo for body boarders) which is on the main street of Arugam Bay (note - I use the term 'main street' loosely, it's a red, dusty, dirt road with less than 20 shops and the occasional goat) I had an epiphany. Molls are the ideal journalists for the surfing world. We travel to distant & inaccessible locations to observe and discuss the surfing culture (and maybe get a little reading/sunbaking in, it can't be all work!! We are not machines damn it!!) and as non-participators we are objective observers, able to distance ourselves and report back without bias.

I don't know why the surfing press hasn't realized all of this.

Best of all, we have the unique ability to translate 'surf talk' and information into terms that everyone can understand. We are the missing link (Mr Bodyboard notes that he feels that this is what my blog is already doing, I'd like to think so)
For example, a report might read -
Arugam Bay does have some fantastic long riding waves, but the beginner crowds and constant dropping in make it frustrating.
Non surfer translation -
Arugam bay is like your favourite designer store with a constant 50% sale, only there's always 5 people grabbing the dress you want just as you touch it. And you know that you would look way hotter in it!

Moll journalists are always in the heat of cross cultural debate. Currently there is an uprising against the Israelis who are the main culprits of dropping in (dress grabbing). I hear of the rising tensions, confrontations, and attempted peace talks, all told to me minutes after they have occurred on the front line (in the surf/at the cash register).

Are you after financial news? Who better to fill you in on prices than a moll who has been dragged from cabana to cabana to work out the best price to surf location ratio? I can look a tuk tuk driver in the eye and tell him how much it will cost to the various surf points and reference his past brothers/cousins tenders for each rout.

For those looking to the dating section this reporter has the scoop that if you are a Sri Lankan surfer, fair haired European damsels will pretty much lie down in front of you, wanting nothing more than to lie on your board in the flat surf gazing adoringly at you while you gaze adoringly at their scantily clad bums. If you are any other ethnic brand of single male, I'm sorry but it's going to be a lonely trip.

For the foodies, this moll reporter can give reviews for all the restaurants in town (yes, all ten of them) and tell you who is best value for money. For example - Riptide have the best prices and rottis, but after a long surf (or an exhausting bout of moll duty) their 'vegetable macaroni' (ingredients - spiral pasta, grated carrot, cabbage and tomato sauce) is not going to satisfy your needs.

Speaking of needs, I think that all surf media need to have a special 'moll page' or maybe we could call it 'moll murmurs'.This weeks would read - When your partner convinces you to try surfing, first make sure that he is fairly confident with his tool (snicker - you see what I did there was I meant his board but.....) or else you could end up like our friend Bandage Mc Ouch Ouch. She was last seen sitting at Riptide looking unhappy after a loving 'surfboard to forehead' moment.

My final point in my push for better moll representation in the media is that we are hot. Who else reports in a bikini? Case closed I say.

P.S - After running this piece past my editor (mr Bodyboard), it was pointed out that there are already molls who travel and take photos/report. I met one in Japan, and I salute her and the others for being pioneers for all mollkind.